Did you know that studies have been made to find out if a certain modality of psychotherapy was more effective than others? Can you guess what they found?
Surprisingly, they found that it is not the therapy’s theoretical approach, nor the experience level of the professional that were the most important aspect in positive results.They found that TRUST and CONNECTION between client and therapist – aka rapport – were the most significant aspect for outcomes!
Also, studies have found that trust and connection with teachers or medical doctors had more significant positive impact in learning and in treatment outcomes.
When you seek for support from a therapist, coach, healer, teacher or a medical doctor … take into consideration how you feel about them. If you have a choice, choose someone you can trust and feel connected. It will impact your progress.
How to do it? When choosing or working with a provider:
* Connect with yourself and your emotions,
* Perceive how you feel in a relationship with that provider,
* Notice if your uncomfortable emotions come from facts on how they have treated you or someone else, or if it comes from prejudices or assumptions about him/her,
* If you feel some doubts or discomfort about he/she, bring it into a conversation with the provider,
* Notice his/her response and how you feel about it,
* His/her response may help you make a decision about how to proceed next.
If they can hear, validate and respond to your concerns in an empathic way, you may change your perception and improve your level of trust. If they cannot respect what you are experiencing about them, you have to make a choice about whether to continue to work with them or not.
Once, I was seeking a therapist with a specific specialty to support me with an issue. I found only one in a location that worked for me at the time. I took a look at her website and I had assumptions and prejudices about certain information. Because she was the only one in the area and I was aware of my assumptions, I took a chance and scheduled a session. In the beginning of the first session, in a respectful manner, I brought up my assumptions and judgement about her on her website. Her empathic and validating response made a huge difference! It helped me trust her and I proceeded with the therapy. I am grateful that I took that chance because her work has had a very positive impact on me. Also, on that occasion, I learned to challenge my assumptions more often, which has served very well in life.
Trust and connection make a huge difference for your healing and learning. It is important to connect with your emotions to know how you feel about your providers. But it is also important to be aware of assumptions and challenge them in a respectful and safe manner. The process of realizing and overcoming assumptions and prejudices can be the biggest step towards the healing you are seeking for.
Have you had a provider that you did not connect or trust? How did it go?
Have you ever been in a situation where you challenged your assumption about a provider? How did it go?
