I went backpacking at the “old age” of 35. It was one of my best experiences, but not without struggles. The big struggles were not during the trip, but before it started.
Before the journey of almost 4 months of solo backpacking in Peru, Bolivia, Chile and Ecuador, I had a lot of conflicts and fears. They were less about safety on the road as a woman alone, and more about society’s and my own judgments for taking that time to travel.
I felt I was too old for backpacking and that was inappropriate for my life stage. I believed I should be focusing on:
- Establishing my new career, as I just had graduated from grad school,
- Finding a relationship to have a family, as I went through a divorce during grad school and I still wanted to have kids,
- Grounding myself to secure my future, instead of growing wings and flying to who knows where.
The social and cultural constructs I had been exposed to, aka society and family values, would not give permission for me to go “into the wild” at age of 35. I already had passed the time to get settled.
Luckily, I had a wonderful and empowering process of deconstruction throughout my grad school in counseling psychology. It was like an intense three-year of depth therapy, transforming inside and out, left and right. The person who entered the grad school was not the same who graduated.
During those years, a lot of wake up calls and shedding of what did not serve me anymore happened. At times, it was a very painful process of letting go. Other times, it was a challenging process of transforming relationships, friendships, and my own persona. Generally, it was not easy to allow the deconstruction of what I once had believed so strongly. But, that journey was really worth it. (You can call dark night of the soul 10 fold.)
Eventually, that deep and transformative process paid off. It opened space for new possibilities, new friendships, new relationships, new meanings. All of that, much more aligned with whom I had become. It felt more fulfilled than ever before.
After my counseling psychology degree, with additional therapy and healing processes, I was better skilled to face my inner monsters and transform them into allies. I had better skills to identify and transform my fears, beliefs and judgments into fuel to make my dreams come true, instead of blocks.
Instead of defining my mid-thirties as a time to settle, I defined it as the time for my teenager backpacking dream to come true. Divorced, no kids, graduated, no big job, no big commitments and much less f#ck given to what others think. There was nothing to hold me back, besides myself.
The call for that adventure was loud, the circumstances were favorable and my heart was lively when thinking about that possibility. I was able to use my strengths, skills and new mindset to take the steps towards that life-changing adventure.
The dream became reality. And the dream came with many stories to tell and many more skills to enrich my personal and professional life.
The greatest privilege is to turn that life experience, and others, along with my experience in psychology into my teachings. And, nowadays, that is what brings me joy: help those who want to have the courage and skills to follow their heart too, while bringing their brain too.
There is a new adventure and a new beginning in the horizon.
You will be alright. Trust it.
Iria Sebastiao, your catalyst for personal change.
